So today I got that feeling again...of pursuing something and then it's taken away. I did feel sad, but I'm tired of feeling this way. My situation is not good if I think about the things I most wanted...my goals, aspirations, my dreams. I feel really frustrated. But I'm trying to overcome this somehow...
I realized that much of my pain is self-inflicted...but then, how can I have goals, dreams and aspirations...and not get somehow attached to them? How can I not feel frustrated when I fail? Should I keep trying or just give up? Let me rephrase, how can I have objectives in a healthier way? I have done that before, but I wasn't rushing...sometimes it is difficult to know how fast you have to go, because there is no rule of thumb. You have to go out there and try it by yourself, and you may end up falling down if you go about wrecklessly.
If it is something you have never tried before, of course it will be messy...but if it's something that you have been putting a lot of effort and attention into, frustration is almost inevitable. I have to try and find a healthier way to connect to these goals, dreams and aspirations of mine with which I have been dealing for a while.
Pursuing goals is ultimately a matter of patience. It is taking failures with a grain of salt, but celebrating intensively every victory. I need to learn to do that and overcome frustation, cultivating a healthier mindset...I guess by doing that, at least my emotional/psychological side will be better. And that probably influences my physical aspect and my self-steem too. I think it's worth a try.
I just feel a little tired of feeling frustrated. There is more in life than that. It's just that this year, in particular, has been harsh, problem after problem. I hope in the future I will be able to learn good things and look back at these years with joy. Because right now, this is not how I feel.
I had been in a good moment of expansion a few months ago, but today I feel like shutting myself off from the world. I have done that before in many ways...but I think it ends up not helping me to improve much. It's just that, when I got out of my shell and tried to improve, I failed in many ways, and while I think that in other ways I have been successful, the feeling of failure persists more.
But I have spent far too much time feeling like a failure. I need to learn a new way to live. Simpler, healthier, without overthinking too much, more present in the moment. I need to let go of all that frustration of the past and become a new, lighter version of me. I think I know a few things I can do to help that, but I'm still learning how.
For a starter, I think I'll try to include meditation in my routine. Tomorrow morning, when I wake up, I will try it...I need to let all that shit go.
