So much stuff, so little time... I guess this is what it's like growing old. Life goes by too far, and you haven't done half the stuff you wanted to.
One good thing I can take from this, is that I am deep in love with life. On the other hand, the end is coming sooner than we expect.
While I am happy about some things in life at the moment, I am also afraid.
I am afraid my mom won't make it too far, her health has been dwindling down rapidly in the past few years.
I am afraid I will feel like a failure in my profession, after so much hard work. I just need to setlle down, and I will be jumping on the first opportunity I get. I had seen these feelings from afar inside of me, but I hadn't really FELT them until today, when it all came crashing down.
I am tired of it all. Of trying. I don't care what will happen next, I just need some peace. I just wish people would stop stimulating me, it's so frustrating because people say I should keep trying and that I am good enough. I may be good enough to be on the spotlight, but not good enough to have found my own place. And it hurts so bad to feel ignored, despised and rejected. Fuck you, academia and universities. I hope I find a better life outside of you. I'm done.
How could you tell me that I'm greatWhen they chewed me up, spit me out, pissed on me?Why would you tell me that it's fateWhen they laughed at me, every day, in my face?
